Ho Hum!

it is SO friggin' hot! it sucks my will to be awake! any remaining energy I save, is required for maintaining my eyelids in the upright position - oh, and driving, 'cause I figure I need to pay attention.

For some reason, I am just not ready, and not adapting to the heat this year... might have something to do with the fact that it IS a little cloudy, which make the humidity go up from itsy bitsy, to itsy... which is enough to have a major effect with the air temp is over 110 !

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Jamie Oliver: made my first recipe yesterday - Chicken Tika Masala... humm... kinda fudged one spice item, instead of buying garum masala, I mixed my own from an MSL recipe; not sure that worked too well. Of note, MSL recipes are usually straight forward and outline every tiny spec of a detail. Jamie, as a "wing it" cook, has kinda iffy recipes, which may have contributed to my not getting it quite right. But then, this is a quality I am hoping to learn from Mr. Oliver

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so, we are thinking about vacations. I have realized that the older I get, the more regular my breaks from work need to be. One year, we didn't go on vacation at all. That was a BAD idea. I am still trying to make up for that decision. Problem 2: all the yummy vacations we take, usually involve my family. I love them and all, but its not the same as compromise-free lounging. So, we're thinking about going on a family free vacation - with our friends. Is that workable as less of a compromising situation??? I'm hoping.

Relationship Role Models?

Here's something that I've been thinking about for a while.

In the past, the sanctity of marriage was strong enough for a disgruntled partner to find a way to resolve their feelings of excessive compromise and stay in the relationship.

Then we moved into this generation where we feel that all people have the right to be in their own happiness all the time. Embedded in this is less of a willingness to compromise.

So how do you resolve the disgruntles in your relationship?

At the bottom-line of the issue is that there are very few (actually none that I know of) relationships that you can look to as a model, or role model for success where both partners are having their every need met, and neither is taking on the brunt of the compromise.

Asserting/requesting to have your needs met, can create conflict. You have to both be in a very healthy place for this conflict to not turn into something ugly; ie one of you feels that its too much "self" to compromise.

So how do you have a healthy relationship where both partners feel that their needs are met and you can resolve the conflict in a constructive way that perpetuates the feeling of being connected?

Its tough.

I wish there were more examples in the brainwashing that is pushed out to us through books, magazines, TV, and movies.

me and airplanes

just not a good mix; especially when I am spending everyday of a week on the road for work, flying all over the place.
What happens is that I get annoyed with EVERYONE! Especially the people in my SPACE! This is why, it is compulsory for me to be in FIRST. The airlines should automatically upgrade me as a courtesy to their other passengers, and humanity as a whole.
Problem number 2. I become melancholy, almost depressive, introspective, and maudlin. I sit in my head thinking all these "oh woe is me" thoughts that are rarely profound enough to matter on landing.
And if all of that isn't bad enough, by the time I get home, I am just in a FOUL mood. I want to be alone, I don't want to be alone. I want to sleep, I don't want to sleep, I want to eat, I don't want to eat.....blegh!

Jamie Oliver

How do I become Jamie Oliver? ok, if I can't become him, how can at least become a little part of him?
he is so relaxed about cooking; he is so creative in a very simple way; he is so CUTE!; he gave up his starting-role-as-chef-career to save all the children in the world who eat lunch at school.
Maybe I should just buy all his book....
ok, maybe I'll start with one.
I am an official supporter of Jamie Oliver!

does it matter?

I realized long ago that not everyone would like me.
and at that point, I decided that being me was more important than morphing myself so that everyone would like me.

Now that I'm older, I wonder about this realization and subsequent decision.

I have now come to realize that in order to have successful relationships everywhere in your life (ie work, home, the grocery store) you need to at least consider the viewpoint of the other opinion. This doesn't mean that you are changing yourself; in fact, it really has nothing to do with who you are as a person. But the result is that you have a more successful interation with the person in front of you.

They still may not like you.

Two things:

ONE:
SKYPE people!! come on, its a no-brainer!!!
www.skype.com


TWO:
An Inconvenient Truth
See it! embrace it! live it!
Produce less CO2
that's it.
simple.

I need your help

if you go through my links next door, you will notice that they are either my friends, MINI related, or new, first-time mom's (FTM) with attitude. What I've found is that once you find a blog you like, and then you go through the blogs they like, you can find other bloggers with similar style, and that works, however, I started with a FTM.... and they REALLY go on about their kids (except Master B, I have to say). So, I'm trying to find bloggers with dry wit that don't blog about their children. Can you help? or is the blogosphere just completely dominated by these stay-at-home frustrated intellectuals and therefore saturated by their blogs mostly?
LeahPeah is an exception too - not a friend, and not a FTM
Amalah, I guess from her comments, used to be more about herself and now is all about FTMness
Dooce is, I guess, very family... so that's bearable
and Morphing actually has 2 kids.... but still, the theme is about being a mom

why is the world so obsessed with children?

..just to hear the MINI echo

I love the sound of my engine when I'm in the parking garage. It must be something to do with the echo. Sometimes, I just open my windows and sunroof and rev it up, just to hear the MINI echo!!

Lisa's sinus avoiding techniques (edited)

1. if you feel sick IN ANY WAY! take an airborne... if you feel sick the next day, take more!
2. if you feel REALLY bad, follow the airborne with the following: garlic, echinacea, and vitamin C - yup, your pee will be flourescent
3. squirt rhinocort up your nose... I think this has to be prescribed.
4. I nearly forgot! take an all-day allergy medication daily - like allegra or claritin

if this doesn't help avoid, and now you're afflicted, along with your antibiotics, and the 3 items above, do the following:
4. take mucinex!
5. drink the breathe easy tea OR take sudafed... don't do both
6. if you really want to be all holistic.... take mullein drops - but I don't think that actually works.

I am usually able to avoid by overwhelming my body with vitamins, garlic, and rhinocort.

Kids

I stopped wanting to have children when my aunt was about 5-6 months pregnant with my first maternal cousin.
I remember her, my mom, and me, sitting in our living room in the house I grew up in, talking about all the things that can go wrong in pregnancy, childbirth, and birthing, and I thought "WHAT?!" and from that point on... children of my loin, no longer became an option. I was 13 at the time, and always rational, figured that this was too young to make drastic decisions, so I figured that I'd see how I felt at 16, and get a hysterectomy then. Well, by 16, I'd learned that you loose some other things with your uterus that are not worth giving up - NO!!, I'm not talking about menstrating! I'd give that up in a heartbeat! its all the other stuff...ESTROGEN...that you don't really want to live without.

anyway.

my decision not to give birth has never changed.
as I've grown older, my opinion has become stronger, and over the past couple years I have found out that I have 2 friends that feel the same way; and that is:
Giving birth to a child is selfish. Wanting to create a person in the world that has my genes is self-centered. Are my genes really that great that there needs to be another one of me, a little diluted by Greg? I don't think so. Instead, I look at what I have to offer and feel that this strength, guidance, and love, would be musch more appreciated by a child who doesn't, won't, and will never have it unless I volunteer to give it to them. I'm sure that there is pride and satisfaction in your child growing up and becoming a successful contributing member of society - but can you imagine how much greater that feeling if said child was on a track toward felony and imprisonment?

I did some research

now my hits are up to 110.

I did some research: its me and Aaron, everyone else is here for 0 seconds. Except for D and B, I just didn't see them in my first sample.

So, I guess I'm not keeping interest... people take a look, don't see anything interesting, and move on.

very interesting - now I have a choice to make:
do I continue to use this as a forum to update my friends, or
do I start experimenting with content to see if I can "hook" people

?

Holy CRAP!!

I've had 85 hits!! who ARE these people?????!!

Aaron???? are you pinging my blog???

Links

I updated my links to reflect some more of my favorite/daily blogs.
I can't wait for the news posts at all of these locations!

Travel Tips

So, I know that other people have done this before me, but I figure that if you are visiting my blog, you know me, and would appreciate my advice. I am on a trip to Houston right now for 2 days, and even though I haven’t traveled on business in MONTHS, my organized travel-planning system was still in the ready. I figure if it can stand the test of non-use, then it must be pretty good. So here are my tips (I would have included photos, but my camera's in the shop):

· I have a set of all my toiletries in the toiletry bag ready to go, all I have to do is zip it up and pack it.
· I have a small bag filled with potentially needed medications including antihistamines, pain killers, anti-diarrhea, heatburn and colds.
· I always take melatonin if I am changing time zones because it helps with falling asleep and feeling rested when you get up the next day (you can buy it at Trader Joe’s)
· and I have to take red-eye prevention drops because hotel rooms make my eyes red for some reason. I think it’s the no opening window recirculated air thing.
· I use an LLBean roly-poly bag (as I call them) because traveling is tough on luggage and their 100% return policy is unbeatable. I like this one because it has outside pockets too, and an expanding sleeve. Your hanging clothes can go in the top part of the lid, inside a very nice garment pouch that they include. What I’ve done is taken a couple wire coat hangers and cut the hanger part off. I can put my pants, tops, jackets on these hangers which keeps them stable, and then the metal part that remains on the top of the hanger can hook onto the hangers in the hotel room closet. I also follow the MSL advice of saving dry-cleaning bags and I put each item or a couple items into a dry cleaning bag before I put them in the garment pouch. This helps prevent wrinkles.
· I also have these packing assistance bags that work really well for all the folded clothes. There is a really small size that is good for underwear and a medium size which holds my shirts. I’ve only used the large one for international trips.
· This is how I pack the bag. I put and extra shoes on either side of the case body (I try not to take extra shoes but sometimes you have to), I put the medicine bag on the bottom between the handle arms that hide in the base of the case when the handle is down. I put my laptop power supply in this area also, and any other small power cord items I may have to take with me for my phone, blackberry, or mp3 player. The small pouch fits well between the shoes and the medium pouch fits on the other half of the case. My toiletries bag fits on top of the shoes, and I even have room to squeeze in a pillow. The hanging clothes go in the lid part of the case – one of the things I like about this case.
· In the outside pockets I put a book or magazine, in easy reach so that you can pull it out before you put the case in the overhead compartment. Its always good to reduce weight in the tote I use for my laptop and work materials. Usually on the return trip, ALL the work papers end up in the case instead of the tote. There is also a key holder in the top outside pocket which means that they are out of the way while you don’t need them, and then when you get back to the car, you know exactly where they are.
· I have a VERY LIGHTWEIGHT tote for my laptop. I went through lots of different bags before I realized that you need to find something barely bigger than your laptop and constructed of NYLON! The one I found from eBags (which they seemingly don't stock anymore) has all these outside pockets, which I LOVE. I keep my travel cards (you know, all those frequent flyer and hotel cards) in the bag, an extra pair of sunglasses, some snacks, the computer, DVD’s, pens, aircard, extra battery, it all fits in there neatly, even though the bag is not that big. There were some design flaws – like the funny metal hanging thing that kept popping off, I secured that with a ziptie! And the handles weren’t sewn in all the way, which a shoe repair place fixed for me.
· The only thing that I would add to this set-up that I don’t have is a pair of noise-reducing headphones. They are ridiculously expensive! I mean, come . on ! and also – large!

So that’s packing.
· At the airport, I have learned a couple tricks to make getting through security easier: wear slip-on shoes, don’t wear your belt, put it in your bag, and keep all the metal to a minimum – ok, those are no-brainers.
· Here’s the other thing. Only your laptop has to go in a bin. Nothing else. Your shoes don’t, your sweater doesn’t, only all those loose things you might have in your pockets, so DON”T PUT THEM IN YOUR POCKETS. You do not need to unpack all your stuff into a selection of bins and put everything on the line of tables trying to pretend that you are three people pushing all of this stuff along until you get to the x-ray machine. Just grab a bin, creep along in the line with all these frantic people, and go through your loading process as your things progress on the conveyer belt.
· I have tried various combinations to figure out which is the most efficient. I have decided finally that shoes and laptop go first. TSA won’t spend a lot of time on either of those, and you can be putting on your shoes while they look in your bags. If you put the tote on next, you can grab it and insert the laptop before the roly-poly bag gets to you, which you then take off, pull up handle and you’re ready to go. Another piece of advice is that if you get caught and you can’t keep up with your stuff coming through, move it off of the rollers onto the tables. That way other people can move by and its less stressful for you.

Anyway, that’s what I do.You might think that I’m compulsive to have spent so much time thinking about how to make traveling easier. Well, I’m not compulsive, I have just traveled a LOT for work and like to make it easier on myself. I am just organized and efficient. I think you will find those two attributes up by my name on this Blog.

Let's Talk about Marriage - or not!

Why is it that it is so difficult for people to comprehend that there are options and alternatives out there to the way that they can live their lives?

Why do you have to get married? How is it that society has created this expectation that you are not complete unless you are married? That word holds so much more meaning to people than what it actually represents. I would bet that is one of the reasons why this whole gay marriage thing is such an issue.

Why is it not acceptable to be in a long-term relationship of commitment without that word?
Let’s see, what does the word represent in reality? It represents a piece of paper on file at the local courthouse. This paper says that you are joined in matrimony and that the laws of matrimony (obviously those laws that are on the book in your State of residence) apply to your union.

Where does it say anything about Love? Commitment? Acceptance? Tolerance? Patience? Compromise? Companionship? Sharing? Equality? All of those qualities that are the actual result of that long term commitment. Nowhere. These are the fruits of long-term commitment relationships whether or (hold on to your seats, ladies) not, you are married.

So why do people look at me in horror when I tell them that I am not married and I have no intensions of being married?
I’m serious. It’s a look of HORROR! Like I am no self-respecting woman if I am not spending my every waking and sleeping moments in search of that holy grail.
Some people have the courage to confront me on this abhorrence right on meeting, others wait until they know me a little longer, like they are afraid to offend me by asking the question right off the bat.

Here are the responses I store in my bag (refresher, the question is Why don’t you get married?):
1. Why DO you get married?
2. Why did YOU get married?
3. Why SHOULD I get married?
4. What does marriage give me that I don’t have? (there is absolutely nothing with which that question can be answered – go on, I dare you… try! Not you, Mom – don’t you dare say anything about the South Dakota retirement system!)

Here are some of the things I have that you don’t:
1. we define the terms of our relationship, they are not defined by the State of Arizona
2. my Partner comes home to me every day because he wants to
3. when we hit a bump, and select to work through it and renew our commitment to each other, its because we want to
I could go on, but I think I made my point.

an aside:
Sometimes people find out that my mother is not married either; and I get this all-knowing “Oh!” like “oh, this runs in the family”, “oh, you weren’t taught good family values”, “oh, you come from one of those hippy bohemian families.

Blagh! I just hate that people can’t accept difference.