Friday, October 03, 2008

An update, of sorts

so, a lot has been going on over the past couple of months, and its not easy to post here because there are things that are still in flux. I thought I would post an update anyway, so that if you do visit this blog, you would know where I am.
I have been
- releasing the habits
- recognizing patterns
- letting go of the fetters
- thinking about all the "one days"
I've been making plans for tomorrow, and next month, next year, and my life
I have accepted that I am not young, and need to stop putting off the things that I want to do. Instead, I need to embrace my life and demand that every second count.
I have learned quite a bit...
I have learned what I need from friendship, I have learned to be selfish, I have learned to put my own needs first, I have learned to ask for what I want.
I have come to recognize what I deserve, and its much more than what I have been getting.
I've come to understand the characteristics I appreciate in people, and those I don't.
I am learning how to have healthy conflict. Conflict that resolves, builds trust, and allows growth.
I am learning to accept care.
I am being cared for.
I am having fun
and it is not only fun that I have created; fun is being created for me.
I have found peace.
real peace.
not just peace created by denial and compromise
I am grateful for the people in my life who see it as it is, who accept me for who I am, eventhough they may not understand.
I am remembering who I am, and I am making choices that pay homage to that person.

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