Friday, March 30, 2007

update - for my blogreaders

I am still overwhelmed at work by the workload.
I am waiting right now for comments back on the last submittal, and in order to take a break, I'm going to give you an update.
well, not about the work stuff.... I'm not sure its a good idea to talk about that here.
But about life.
I have been in a bit of a panic the last couple of weeks, actually the last week, because my personal trainer is moving to Dallas.
I didn't really realize how, like, co-dependent I'd become until the reality of his leaving hit me.
I've been in a bit of turmoil, both because of the whole upsetness of the leaving, but then I was also, like, really SHOCKED that it was upsetting me that much.
first off, he's not the kind of guy that I would be friends with, but he has a lot of similar traits to me, so we connected on that level of understanding what it means to not be easy to be supervised by an employer, being conscientious, wanting things a certain way; so what I'm telling you here, is that it wasn't really who he is as a person that I was upset about... that's why it was freaking me out.
what I figure, is that people are all a little bit conceited. And when you find someone who helps you achieve an appearance that you didn't think you could have - like a really good hairdresser who gets the color just right - you become connected and dependent on that person because you know, or don't think, you can do it on your own.
Also - he is SO self-confident and possessive, that he was not telling me if there was someone else available for me 'cause he doesn't think anyone is as good as he is, and he didn't want to give up any of his clients. So I was panicking that I would start declining in my fitness!! Who was going to set my weights? Who was going to give me my cardio?! I started looking for books, and they were all so sucky, that made me panic some more! I was actually CRYING about it last weekend; after I'd gone to the gym, and it felt like SUCH a lonely place.
It was the same crying as when I watch a marathon, or the Ironman on TV. Like proud that you'd reached a goal, and hopeful that you can make it.
so in the case of my personal trainer, I started from this place of having NO muscle tone, and no endurance, and in 4.5 months, I actually have muscles that you can see on my back, my arms, my calves - yikes! I am not a SKINNY person... and let me tell you, you don't know how much ridicule I had to endure throughout my childhood (especially from my UNCLE) about being skinny!! I can run for an HOUR and a HALF, and for about 20 minutes of that at a 10 minute mile! Holy Crap!!!! before, I couldn't even run ONE, now I can run FIVE!!!!
and in retrospect, it wasn't that hard.... I just did what Mr. PT told me to do. And here I am.
So - yes, I was pretty upset 'cause I didn't want to not be this fit, ripped person.
In fact, I want to be MORE ripped and fit.
A couple months ago, we decided to set a goal, and I thought that it should be about body fat. I didn't want to say "run a 5K" or "lose 10 pounds" - I've been gaining weight during this whole PT thing - so I said, what is a good range for a regularly fit woman, and he said about 15-20, or something like that. so, I said, let's shoot for 19/20 by the time you go to Dallas.
We measured body fat a couple months later, and it wasn't down that much. I thought - yikes, we're not going to make it... we're not going fast enough, and I was pretty sad.
Well - today was my last session... we did the body fat thing, and you wouldn't believe it... it was 18!!
I am SO happy!!!!!
It makes me feel that anything is achievable, that I can have the body I always imagined, dreamed of; not just the one I accept.
Also - he introduced me to my new trainer - Chad - who was SUPER cool!!! and so I feel like I will have help! still a little apprehensive 'cause I don't know this new guy's style, or whether or not it will work... but I know that Jeff is SUPER critical, so I figure this guy has to be worth something.
and I have to set new goals. So how about this: Madonna arms, 6-pack abs that are visible (I think I have a 6-pack now, you just can't see it), and 10 miles...?
(something interesting... there are NO blog posts about Jeff - just that first one about Nicki; hmmmm....)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

This time last year...

I was preparing to go to AMVIV.
You know, the meetup of MINIs in Vegas.
The whole blown tire saga...
The Strip cruise...
The track day...
Oh so much fun!
This year, we are passing because in a week, I will have family at my house!
That's right, we are going to be full to the gills with Folbs!
There will be 5 Folbs, a Brown and a Lee - who kinda count as Folbs too.
And then a visiting Folb from Rural & Apache; so EIGHT altogether!
Eight people in our house has to be a record.
We have been cleaning, moving furniture, buying furniture, and making sleeping space for all these Folbs!
It just occurred to me on my way to work that I need to come up with a dinner plan because on-the-fly might not work.
any ideas?

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Is it worth it?

This past week was probably one of the worst work weeks I've ever had.
I've worked long hours on projects with short deadlines, but they were never as hard as this.
I lost my patience twice, I begged, I pleaded, I reasoned, I did everything to make things happen short of throwing up and crying. And I was close on those two counts also. I feel like my ability to get something done was put to the utmost test. At every turn, there was a block, another decision that had to be made, another problem to solve. And some of the people I was dealing with? working with? were part of the problem. Do you remember that proposal I worked on last summer? how I was at home writing, coordinating with reviewers and contributors all over the country? Well, this week made that look like a walk in the park.
And no, its not over yet. I am still getting calls, emails, people involving me. And the worst part is that next week will be the same, but with all the OTHER projects I'm working on that got NO attention this week because of the INSANITY that was my job. 

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Studies show...

that my frustrations with working at an engineering firm are not specific to me.
Study one: AZ has a glass ceiling. One reason is because all the "big" industries are traditionally male-dominant
Study two: PEOPLE (men and women) still stereotype women as not good for leadership; and when women show leadership qualities, they are given negative labels.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Once upon a time...

there were clean dishes at the Willow Resort! Hoorah!!

The Lowes people finally called, they came, they did a fantastic job installing the dishwasher, and we've already done a load - of all the crap that has been sitting out for two weeks! Some of it had mold... I know, gross! but YOU try living without a dishwasher for THREE months.