Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I figured out what it feels like

I see the sky as blue
everyone else is telling me they see the sky as green.
I just don't see the sky as green, its so obviously blue, how can you even imagine there is green in there!
and yet, because you are all telling me you see green,
and you're writing about how good that green feels,
and you're celebrating because the sky is green.
I start to feel left out.
Like I WISH I could see the green, I just wish I could, because then maybe I wouldn't feel left out.
But I just don't. I just don't see green.
I start hunting down other people who see the sky as blue, and at every turn, I find more people who tell me its green.
Some people start out saying its blue, and then over time, their blue turns more and more green. And there is no way for me to know why they change their minds.
Is it because they always saw the green, and just were pretending to see blue?
I feel lonely, like there is noone like me, that I'm a deviant (well, I know I am a deviant)... basically lonely.
Because I don't really know anyone else who sees the sky as blue.
this past weekend, one of my non-breeder friends actually told me that she is seeing natural-born children in her future more and more.
The sky is getting greener for her, and I still don't see it.


brianna said...

as a non-breeder who bred, i can tell you, with conviction and clarity, that goddamnit!, that sky is still blue. :)

deetour said...

I feel the same way about those damn paintings that people see pictures in. To me it is just a bunch of multi colored dots. To them it is this fiesta with dancing girls, sailboats and spaceships. Sigh.

Lisa said...

Thanks, B. That's good to hear!

deetour said...

Above was my version of that same situation. They see this fab life of YSL diapers and kodak moments and all I see are stretch marks, loss of sleep and bills bills bills. Among other things. I have 57, 983 reasons not to procreate.

brianna said...

just for the sake of argument, dee, not every mom gets stretch marks, and lots of people without kids have stretch marks anyway. :) btw, your "reasons not to procreate" number gets higher every time i see it!

aabart said...

Hmm, I can't wait to have children! Lisa, you are going to love our kids, whenever they happen!

aabart said...

d - no blog anymore?

MERLE said...