in thinking about this whole what do I want to do for work thing, there are all these thoughts that swarm through my head. I feel like they are mosquitoes and I'm trying to swat them and missing and they buzz in my ears some more.
Finding a company where you fit is like finding a relationship that works, except that with relationships, there are things you can do to get to know each other before you commit and sign the W2. How do you get to know who a company is before you make the commitment? and even if you do a ton of due diligence, management could change, and the whole atmosphere be different.
I think I have a pretty good idea of what my skills and strengths are, and unfortunately, I don't think that they relate to a particular specialty, like a do'er, I think that I am better at management and making things happen, planning, organizing, motivating - making things happen. So, how do you define a job that captures the directing rather than the doing?
as an aside - I was thinking last night, I committed to a personal trainer and working out, like a new year's resolution, TWO MONTHS ago. So, my "planning radar" is two months ahead, I think you can say.
anyway - today I am documenting the challenge of figuring out what is right for you. The challenge of figuring out what kind of working environment fosters your growth and helps you excel.
Of course, some people may just be happy with a job that pays them money. But when you have committed (money and time) to an (advanced) education to contribute to the workforce and something meaningful, or that gives you meaning, then, by golly, you want it to happen!
I think sometimes that if you are a parent, you can always say that your contribution is the mentoring and fostering of this other person that can be your legacy. But when you are not a parent, you need to be contributing more than just changing all your stupid lightbulbs to CF and driving below 3000 RPMs !
I am scared to apply for a job at another company.
I am scared of the rejection if they turn me down.
and I am scared of finding myself in this situation of being frustrated and not knowing whether its me or them.
I want someone to want me, I want someone to say - Lisa, you are what we want, your skills match our need. Come and work for us.
But there are no "bars" where "seasoned" professionals can go and "meet" prospective employers. Just stupid college fairs and internships for those young moldable idealistic sub-30's greenies.