Today I met with a personal trainer.
This is not the first time that I've met with one, but maybe this is the first time I felt it was real.
The first time was at my old gym, when I joined up they gave me the free sign-up session. Didn't stick. I felt like they were normalizing me like putting me through the sausage factory.... "this.is.the.workout.that.people.do."
A month ago, I thought I'd give it a try at my current gym. I have friends who work with trainers here, and my one friend LOVES her trainer.
So I went to the trainer counter and asked them how it works. A young girl "got" me, I figured I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and saw it through the intro meeting. Again... "this.is.the.workout.that.people.do" but with a different flavor - NOT!
I told my friend who loves her trainer, and woo hoo, she hooked me up. Well that's who I met with today. And, yeah, she's good. She listened to what I said my goals were, and she explained to me what I need to do to get there. I heard her, and I signed up.
But, I have to say, its a little humiliating! Like, "umm, this body you have, you're not really using it right, see here? all these numbers, they say that you don't know what you're doing! ah, yeah, this running program you're putting yourself on? its not gonna work, 'cause, umm, you don't know what you're doing."
now - she did not say these things to me, and she was actually very nice with me, I'm just saying, this is like the deep seeded issue I have with whether or not I can take care of my body.
Anyway, we are on the path to recovery. Soon to be personal trained!! and I'm hoping that I'll look like Jennifer Aniston, no, not her face, her BODY! she's the same age as me, that's why she's my "goal" look.
later, I'm going to eat some FAT!!